When I had started this blog I had nothing to say. More than anything I was curious as to what I could do with it and what I would do with it. I began by posting pictures and brief synopsis of my life in Spain. However, within a few months my life here had gone from noteworthy to normal. When I had first moved here everything was worth noting and sharing with other people, as time went on these things either stopped happening to me or have since gone unnoticed. My guess is that they have been going unnoticed. In no way am I suggesting that Spain has become boring or that I have somehow figured it all out, but with time my attention has been drawn to other things. I suppose it is all a part of the acclimation process.
As I progressed with the blog I realized that as much as I had wanted to share my experiences with people, I wanted to know what was going on stateside as well. After every posting I would constantly check back to see if there were any replies. I needed to know that someone was reading what I was posting and I wanted the communication of such. I had signed up for a counter service several months back. Every week they would send me a log of how many people were checking my blog. From November to January things were rockin’. Shortly before Christmas I had gotten 100 hits in one week. I didn’t know who was checking my blog (might have only been one or two people), but I had an audience nonetheless and it was time to let my voice be heard.
But, I still had nothing to say. So I began writing less and less. I didn’t want to bore my (two-man?) fanbase with nonsense, so I decided if I couldn’t give them quality then I wouldn’t give them anything. By February the numbers had dropped down to zero hits per week. I tried to kick start it in March with my Fallas entries and I saw a bit of a boost as a result (15 hits that week). The Fallas entries provided a bit of unfulfilled disappointment on my behalf. I had been determined to somehow summarize the experience in words and pictures. I wanted to capture the feeling, the moment and the energy, but I felt as if it all fell flat.
As it stands I still have nothing to say, but now there is less pressure because you’ve all gone. I can’t say that I blame you, considering I left as well. I couldn’t be sure if anyone really cared about what books I was reading or what music I was listening to. I’ve come to realize though, that in a way I was doing it all for me. It is an interactive opportunity for my to post my writing, which all I really wanted in the first place was somewhere to hang my words. I’m not comfortable putting my stories up here, if you’ll look to your right you will find a friend of mine who does just that and he does it well. He gets the feedback that he is looking for and he has developed an audience. Maybe someday I’ll do that as well, but for now I’ll just continue putting words together as they come to me so that I can go back through the archives later and reflect on which words came to me on which dates.
